Rose Porcelain
Posted in Antiques on 04/22/2011 06:32 pm by adminSomeone like my poem?
I wrote a poem, and I wanted some information on it. Eyes, pale gray forms of The fire that burns inside the skin immediately Goddess Porcelain my cheeks pink temptation that I fell into that hole, where I decompose Break it down into my love for thee Lips of Temptations sacred fire to the hair like spun gold desire My heart beats for the love she holds these eyes, pale shades of gray My love is what you read so far.
COMMENTARY: Give it rhythm, bounce to the words as you read them aloud. Do not cut into small short lines that lose the meaning of words in just trying to read it. If you're going to rhyme, it systematically, and do not leave out lines.This could become a good poem, but as it is, it is hardly a poem at all .. Try again, I think you can do it!.
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